We often observe good parenting is measured by how well they have provided financial support or how much they have given materialistic abundance. At one point in your life, you must have heard someone’s, if not yours, parents are telling their children, “I have given you money, food and what not! Why can’t you do better in your exams?” This authoritarian, harsh behavior can greatly affect a child’s mind, behavior, and health. Yet this is the most common way of handling children all over the world.
Let’s look at some of these prevailing stereotypes one by one.
This is the root of the previously mentioned behavior. Parents impose extremely high standards of achievement and bring up their children in a strictly academic environment. Even it can be expressed from the early years such as helping infants to walk, toddlers to read, forcing them to learn difficult subjects before the required age.
This term was coined by author Amy Chua in her book published in 2011, “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” where she describes how Chinese mothers force her Children to accomplish impossible grades. Chinese grade B is basically Chinese fail, and it is simply not allowed. Kids have no freedom to join social groups or play sports. Although most times, parents let them join in extracurricular to shine in that zone, too.
The perks of having a “pushy” parent is that children grow up confident and hard-working. Insofar, a balance in tiger parenting can bring a blessing, otherwise can destroy someone’s future.
These parents are best described as spy parents. Hovering like a helicopter and being involved in a child’s life more than a limit. This sort of parenting was first introduced in a parenting teen book, “Parents & Teenagers” by Dr. Haim Ginott in 1969. This overprotective and over-perfecting style weakens the child’s growth and confidence, leaving them depending on their parents. In addition, this always-present concern can exhaust and may lead to a negative relationship between parents and children.
This behavioral pattern can shape a child’s mind into thinking their parents cannot be trustworthy. They will start hiding and lying. Parents may think only they know them personally and can ensure their safety and happiness.
Similar to helicopter parenting, snowplow parents try to remove obstacles from their children’s lives and make a haven. The difference between helicopter parenting and this one is that the former push into a child’s life out of fear, whereas the latter does this consciously. Always helping kids to win teaches them to take winning for granted and never comprehend what true accomplishments take. In the future, failure leads those kids to depression, anxiety, or worse.
Babysitting or hiring a nanny is not a fresh case. In this modern world, families with working parents do need a third hand. It may not be ideal, as there are many concerning aspects. First, the security issue of leaving children with a stranger. Second, the most important one is that the affection gap between parents and children. Kids will grow up being distant and rely on themselves in everything. Although a balance to find time for children will bring the best of this lifestyle.
Attachment parenting has been the most efficient way, suggested by doctors and researchers. This is where parents create a compassionate bond with the child. The purpose is to raise children in a manner where they can form healthy relations with others emotionally. But there are a few shortcomings, too. In many families, this bond is created with only the mother rather than the father. This creates an imbalanced relationship and in trouble, the children cannot open up to their father. Social norms, gender stereotypes, work as striking factors behind this.
Intentionally or not, crossing boundaries either to protect or sugarcoat children’s lives only makes bitter relations among parents and children. In our society, tough parents are praised and followed. But understanding on an emotional level is far better than throwing a monetary privilege card. Even though finding the fine line is difficult, a balance can break these stereotypes certainly.