“Don’t get angry. It’ll destroy you” or “You’re lost if you become angry”- in our everyday life we hear people saying all these about anger including us. But is it possible not to get angry? Is it possible to remove an emotion? Obviously not. But it is possible to control it so that it cannot be a danger or a harm to others as well as to us. We always treat anger as a negative emotion. But anger is one of the most powerful emotions that doesn’t demand any action. It’s like a tool that you have to know how to deal with it. Every emotion is necessary. But you need to know the right way to express it. Once you discover your emotion and reason behind it, then no emotion can controls you. In our society, we are taught to suppress our anger and people who do that are known as humble. But suppressing any emotion can lead us to psychosomatic disorder. Being angry is okay until you become violent or aggressive.
Anger, Aggression and Violence
Though the terms anger, violence and aggression seem same, they are different in appearance. Aggression and violence are the reflection of the negative forces of anger. All these three situations are interconnected to each other depending on their outcomes and appearances. Aggression and violence are the outcomes of destructive behavior of anger. Anger is an emotion that energizes and motivates to do something that we couldn’t do due to any reason. The reason behind anger is different for everyone. Aggression is physical or sometimes verbal behavior that may intend to harm a person and usually results from anger. Violence is the manifestation of excess aggressive physical behavior that may intend to kill someone and this is the result of anger and aggression as well. So you can see that anger and violence are the negative results of anger. Such kind of behavior not only harms our relations but also harms us as well.
Why do we get angry and how does it affect us
If I ask anyone what makes you angry, then everyone will reply with different reasons. What makes me angry, may not make you angry. So you can see that there is no specific reason behind being angry. There are some common reasons for one to get angry. Such as, when our expectations don’t meet or our grief, pain, excessive use of alcohol, disappointment, failure etc. can be the reasons behind being angry.
Your anger affects you the most. It affects you both mentally and physically. Anger causes headaches, migraine pain, cardiovascular system related problems etc. Moreover, it affects to our daily activities. Sometimes it’s become harder to concentrate on work when you are angry. It’s also make us feel guilty which is also painful. So it’s your loss actually.
There is a saying that “laughter is contagious.” Anger is also like that. When you become violent or aggressive, your relation with others start to fall apart. You become a reason of threat, intimidation or fear. People around you, try to avoid you. Your excessive anger can make anyone depressed even. So destructive anger doesn’t help you anyway.
When and why anger is appropriated
Emotions evolved to keep us alive. Though anger is always considered to be a negative and destructive emotion, it is constructive too. Problem is, we don’t know how to control it or how to express it. Every emotion is necessary and each emotions has the proper way to express whether it’s positive or negative.
- Though anger is harmful, it teaches you to know what your boundary is. It motivates and energizes us to stand up for ourselves. People will always attack, insult, harm, bully the weak ones So when they get to know that you are strong enough to stand up for yourself and it’s not easy to harm you.
- Anger also takes you to your goals. Sometimes when we are triggered, we do the tasks that we couldn’t do because of our laziness or because of any obstacle
- Anger can make you a better person by providing insight to your shortcomings. It can make you a positive and optimistic person who believes in himself and determined as well.
- Dealing a negative emotion like anger, successfully enhances your intelligence. Because you learn how to tackle the situation without harming anyone including yourself.
How to deal with anger issues
I want to repeat again that being angry is not bad until it harms you or your surroundings. Moreover, it is very important to express yourself. You cannot suppress your emotion as it is not going to help you at all. In our society it is one of the neglected emotions and people treat it like if it didn’t exist, then the world would be a better place. But this is not true. By suppressing anger, you suppress the inner you. Anger is such a strong negative emotion that makes people uncomfortable and that’s why they keep avoiding this emotion as far as they can and don’t learn how to deal with this tricky emotion. So you need to deal with this issue.
- When you get angry first of all, sit down if you’re standing and lay down if you’re sitting. This helps you to reduce anger. Remember angry reactions are pretty harmful.
- Think before you speak. Though sometimes it becomes impossible to control it, you are going to lose the situation if you become angry. So just stop reacting at the moment you get angry. Understand the reason behind your being angry. Watch out your actions. Whatever you are saying or doing, may hurt a person and this is never your intention.
- Don’t make fool of yourself. Remember you can only control yourself, not the situation. When the situation is not in your control, let go of it.
- Be assertive in expressing yourself, but not aggressive. This assertive expression is needed to express yourself to reach the goal without being violent
- Make some positive statements to say yourself when you are angry and control yourself. You just need to control yourself.
Anger is destructive and it’s true, until you let it. Control your anger before it controls you. Whatever the emotion is, you need to have control over it. We need to express ourselves. And every emotion is important and inevitable. You just cannot delete or remove it if you want to whether the emotion is negative or positive. So let anger be not evil and be constructive so that you can express yourself without harming anyone.